11 Signs of Fake Nice People

Hey Optimist Minds!

Have you ever come across someone who seemed to be a nice person but later turned out to be pretty mean? 

Being nice to others is seen as a desirable trait. People find it easier to trust you and have you around if they think you’re nice. 

That’s why many people use niceness as a tool to get what they want. They don’t behave in kind ways because they genuinely care about you. Instead, they do it to fulfil their selfish motives.

It’s a good idea to be wary of people who are fake nice. It saves you from getting manipulated, used, and hurt. This video will outline eleven signs of fake nice people. Use this information for educational purposes only and not to judge or shame others.

Let’s begin.


Their greets are over the top.

Does this person call out your name in a loud and exaggerated way? Do they insist on hugging or kissing you to say hello or goodbye even though you’re not that close?

Some cultures may allow intimate greeting gestures with strangers but you can usually tell when someone is going overboard. You’ll notice a discrepancy in their eyes, facial expressions, and body language.


They expect favours in return for being nice.

You can be sure that someone’s niceness is fake if they only do it transactionally. They might bring up all the times they did something for you if you resist giving in to their demands. It’ll feel like emotional blackmail because they’ll induce guilt to get their way.


They give backhanded compliments.

Most people who are fake nice are experts at giving insults disguised as compliments. It sounds like it was something nice to say but it leaves you feeling unsettled. If you confront them about it, they’ll probably laugh it off as a misunderstood joke.


They frequently seek attention and validation.

A typical fake nice person will complain about their shortcomings or problems in front of you hoping for you to tell them it’ll be okay. Conversely, they also enjoy showing off the good things. The primary reason they tell you is for you to say something validating and not because they value your opinion.


They make empty promises.

It’s easier to be fake with words than actions. A fake nice person will be full of promises that they never intend to follow through. They only give their word to get out of tricky situations or to manipulate others. Then, when it’s time to keep the promise, they’ll disappoint you.


They gossip a lot but with pity.

You can spot a fake nice person if you hear them frequently talk about the misfortunes of others. Whenever they find out something exposing about others, they take up every opportunity to spread the bad news. However, they say it in a sympathetic way as if their intention isn’t to spread the rumour but to feel sorry for the person being talked about.


You’ve heard them say nasty things about their loved ones.

The gossiping need not be limited to strangers and acquaintances. A fake nice person might say something horrible about a friend or a family member behind their back. But when that person is in front of them, they switch back to nice mode.


They minimise their role in hurting others.

Fake people almost always end up hurting other people’s feelings. But when they’re confronted about it, they don’t take accountability. Instead, they portray themselves as a victim who was only trying to help. They’ll argue that since they had no intention to hurt, they shouldn’t be blamed for it.


They only reveal their secrets to get you to share yours.

One common fake nice strategy is to disclose something personal that you don’t mind sharing in order to get another person to spill the beans. 

For example, a fake nice person may want to get to know something you’re private about. So, as bait, they’ll tell you an exaggerated or untrue embarrassing story about them and insist that you tell them one about you too.


They don’t show up when you need them.

What makes seemingly nice people fake is when they fail to be nice in action. They may be known for saying a lot of nice things but when it comes to helping others or supporting them, they find excuses not to do it.


They use your vulnerabilities against you.

Such people tend to pretend to get close to others so that they can find out what makes them vulnerable. Then, they might use this information to control them, make them feel bad, or do things they normally wouldn’t do. 

Did any of the signs discussed here remind you of someone you know? Do you think that individual could be a fake nice person? Let us know your thoughts in the comments.

A link for further reading and the studies & references used in the making of this video are mentioned in the description below.

Thanks for visiting optimist minds, take care. Until next time.


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